


Tell me you love me

by mairyleo



Series: Romantic fics [9]
Category: British Actor RPF, Taron Egerton - Fandom, Welsh Actor RPF
Genre: Acting, Actors, Angst, Angst and Humor, Best Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Hurt/Comfort, School, Smut, Studying, Teasing, Theatre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:13:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21846496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mairyleo/pseuds/mairyleo
Summary: I'm starting to study at RADA and meet friends there. One of them is Taron.We grow closer every week, we study together, rehearse and even fight.Is it a friendship or is it love?We go separete ways and come back together when we shoot Kingsman together (Eggsy x Roxy)How long can we deny our feelings for each other?Contains smut.
Relationships: Roxy Morton | Lancelot/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Taron Egerton/Original Female Character(s), Taron Egerton/Reader, Taron Egerton/You
Series: Romantic fics [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601989
Comments: 9
Kudos: 12





	1. 2009

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: cursing, smut

I was exiting Goodge street station and walking towards RADA. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. The audition process had already been hard and I still couldn’t believe they had actually accepted me. I was so incredibly excited and nervous about my first day there. This would be my life for the next three years.

I reached RADA and looked around. It was a typically old brick building and I let out a breath as I saw a few people standing there together. Most of them seemed older than I was, I only just turned 19 a few days ago and a lot of them seemed to be in their mid-twenties.

I saw a girl standing on her own though and walked towards her. She was beautiful with her long blonde hair put up in a high ponytail and she seemed nice and as nervous as I was.

“Hi” I said shyly “Are you here for RADA too?”

She smiled “Yeah, I am”

“It’s pretty obvious, I know” I rolled my eyes at my choice of words and gestured towards the RADA sign behind us.

She laughed “I’m really nervous too, so I don’t blame you”

“Thanks” I was relieved “I’m Melanie, by the way”

She held out her hand and I shook it “I’m Rose”

“That’s a nice name” I said.

We got talking a bit before we walked inside together.

“Have you met any of our class mates yet?”

She shook her head “Not really, no”

“Me neither. I can’t believe none of my friends are here”

“We can be friends” she shrugged and I smiled at her.

“I would love that”

We registered at the front desk and received our student cards.

“This is getting so real” I laughed when we walked towards the auditorium.

Rose giggled “It is. I still haven’t realised they actually accepted me”

“Oh, tell me about it” I said immediately “I auditioned at a few schools but none of them took me.”

We sat down next to each other and waited until all the others arrived too. We were around 30 people.

Two boys sat down next to us and from what I could tell they weren’t much older than we were.

“Hi, I’m Craig” one of them said and we both shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you” I smiled.

The other one sat down right next to me and let out a breath. He seemed thin and tall. And really young.

“Sorry” he chuckled “I’m really nervous”

“Oh, me too” I smiled “Believe me”

He smiled back at me “I’m Taron”

“Hi, I’m Melanie”

The lecture started and a man in his mid-forties walked in.

“Hello everyone” he started “It is great you are all here. Let me tell you some things about what the first few days and weeks will look like and then I’m open to answer any questions you may have”

Questions? I wouldn’t even know where to start. I listened to whatever he said carefully and started to write down some of the stuff in my notebook.

“You brought a notebook?” Taron whispered to me.

“I thought it might be useful” I smiled at him.

From what I saw he had brought neither a pen nor a notebook.

“You can copy it later” I whispered again, before focusing back on what the guy in the front was talking about. Had I missed his name?

The four of us went to a nearby pub afterwards.

“So, what did you write down?” Craig asked me after we had ordered our beers “I saw you were practically writing all the time”

I laughed “Well that kind of stuff could be important, you know?”

“I can’t believe I didn’t bring anything” Taron threw his hand to his face playfully.

Rose laughed “You guys should be more motivated”

“I’m incredibly motivated” Taron said “I still can’t believe I got in. I also applied last year but they didn’t accept me until this year”

“I know, mate” Craig said “I have been auditioning with so many schools I had already lost hope”

“What about you girls?” Taron asked.

I sighed “I have auditioned with a few schools too but I’m really just lucky.” I paused “Apparently. Because I’m normally never lucky” I laughed.

“You’re really damn lucky” Rose agreed “Cause I had a really hard time getting in too”

“You must be a natural” Craig said to me.

I shrugged “I wouldn’t be so sure”

“What about you?” I asked “Do you have any experience in acting?”

Taron nodded “Yeah. I have been in this one play in my home town”

“Where are you from?” Rose asked.

“Aber” he said and when he saw me frown he corrected myself “Aberystwyth”

“Never heard of that” I shrugged

“Really?” Taron seemed taken aback.

I laughed “Really. But I’m from a really small town too”

“I can’t believe you don’t know Aber” Craig said to me “They almost have more pubs than people there”

Taron laughed and I watched in awe as he threw his head back and his whole body was laughing “That is true”

I smiled lightly “Gotta visit it then”

“Well I have heard of it but I have never been either” Rose said “I’m from Brighton, actually”

“Aw” I said “I always wanted to go!”

“So where are you from, Melanie?” Taron asked and I loved how he pronounced my name

“Well” I sighed “I grew up in Germany, actually”

Rose raised her eyebrows “Oh my God I would have never figured. Your English is –“

“Yeah I’m still a native speaker” I shrugged “My dad is British, and my mom is German”

“That must be pretty awesome” Craig said “So you have the best of both countries?”

I laughed “I wouldn’t put it like that but it’s definitely random”

“It’s special, really” Taron said.

“Thanks” I smiled.

“Go ahead and teach us some German curse words” Craig teased me

I laughed “You’re not ready for that, believe me”

“The fun thing is” I went on “that when I’m speaking English I’m always cursing in German”

“Why is that?” Taron furrowed his brows.

I laughed “I don’t know what it is but cursing seems to be somehow forbitten in English?!” I said, unsure.

“Fuck that” Taron laughed. “Not here”

“That’s true” Craig said “I feel like I’m cursing with every second words I’m saying”

“I haven’t noticed that yet” Rose laughed.

“Bloody hell, Rose” he laughed and teased her.

I smiled as I watched them. I was sure we would have a great time together.

We went back to school the next day and I smiled when I saw Taron standing outside, probably waiting for Craig.

“Hi”

“Hey” he smiled when he saw me before lighting up a cigarette.

I crunched my nose and he laughed “What?”

“That’s not good for you”

He just shrugged.

“So, did you prepare for today?”

“How was I supposed to do that?” I laughed “We barely know what’s happening today”

“I thought your notes might help you” he teased me and I playfully smacked his shoulder.

“Hi” Rose said behind me and I turned around to greet her

“Hey” I smiled and we hugged.

Craig arrived soon afterwards and we walked inside together. According to our schedule our lessons today would include voice practice, speech study and sight reading.

I was quite nervous when everyone had to read texts out loud, pronouncing the words how we were explained we should. I was practically shaking but I was starting to calm down when Rose next to me started reading. It sounded quite normal, so I would just try my best.

It was my turn then and I did my best. Apparently, it wasn’t even that bad. Taron was next and hearing his voice was somewhat soothing. I smiled at him when Craig was next.

“You’re really good at this” I whispered to him.

He frowned “I’m not so sure about this. What is it about anyway? Like, what do we actually need this for?”

I just shrugged “I don’t know”

We went to have lunch later that day and I let out a breath after sinking my teeth into a burger.

“This is really good” I muttered with my mouth full.

“What did you say?” Rose laughed.

I continued chewing. “This is really good” I repeated with my mouth empty.

“Don’t tell me you have never heard of this place either” Craig said.

I shrugged “No, I haven’t. I have only moved to London a few weeks ago, so –“

“Where are you from?” Taron asked.

“A small town in Germany” I crunched my nose “I’m really glad I’m here now though”

“I’ll go back home for the weekend” Rose said “I really only have to get used to sharing a flat with strangers”

I laughed “Me too” I scrunched my eyes shut “I’m really not used to sharing a bathroom with five people or something”

“Where the hell are you staying?” Craig laughed.

“That’s a shared flat for you” I cringed.

“Oh same” Rose said. “What about you?” she asked Craig.

Craig smirked “My parents live here so I’m just staying with them”

I rolled my eyes “You’re so damn lucky”

“I know” he winked.

“Do you have a spare room?” Taron laughed

“Why, where are you staying?” Rose asked him.

“In Hackney” he said “I can literally here every Tube train passing by my window”

I had to supress laughing “That might be even more awful than where I live”

Taron gave me a knowing look “You have no idea”

“Who knows?” Rose said “We should just all move in together”

“I would love that” I said, smiling. Rose and I were really good friends already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Year One according to RADA:
> 
> Exploration
> 
> The first year of your training is about exploration. The work is rigorous and challenging but asks that you approach it playfully, imaginatively and with a willingness to explore yourself in new situations and exercises.
> 
> You will be asked to look at and let go of habits, to try things in ways you have never tried them before, to approach exercises with curiosity and openness, to take risks and not worry if they don’t bear fruit. You will play, explore and discover.
> 
> Acting technique classes focus on the development of individual process, using the systems of Stanislavski and some of his successors. You will also be introduced to the fundamental elements of theory and practice in voice (including voice practice, speech study, sight reading and text work) and movement – comprising pure movement, which develops body awareness, flexibility, posture, stamina, strength and spatial awareness; and expressive movement, developing techniques in moving as different characters.
> 
> Other classes focus on specific skills such as screen acting, improvisation, dance, combat, individual and choral singing, and Alexander technique.
> 
> This work is complemented by cross-disciplinary teaching, developing yourself as an artist through practices including close study of play scripts, self-reflection, research-led projects on theatre history and collaborations with students on other courses, as well as personal and professional development.
> 
> This year is about process rather than presentation or performance. There are some showings and sharing of work towards the end of each term – including two choral performances – but in the first year you will only share your work with staff and peers.
> 
> You will also hear from RADA's regular guest speakers, comprising leading figures from a wide range of industries and walks of life – from politics and arts, to photography, neuroscience and religion.


	2. 2010

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Studying becomes more stressful, Taron and I grow closer

We didn’t move in together after all. Rose and I had moved in together though. It wasn’t a great flat, but at least it was only the two of us.

Taron and Craig had been busy making other friends as well, but we were still close. I had missed catching up with Taron, he seemed so down to earth, yet super talented. Craig on the other hand, turned out to be one of the rich guys who thought everything came easy to him. I groaned at the thought.

“Have you seen my flatling iron?” I yelled from the bathroom.

“Yeah it’s here” Rose yelled back.

I walked into her room to find it on her dresser. I smiled.

“Glad you like to use it” I poked my tongue out at her.

She laughed “Sorry!”

We arrived at the school early and were already preparing movement class when our friends Olivia and Isabelle arrived. We were getting more and more professional, but also independent by every week. It meant we had to work a lot on our own and in our free time, everyone in their own unique way. I had learnt to deal with that kind of pressure, but it was still pressure nonetheless.

“Did you do your homework?” Isabelle smiled when they both reached us.

I laughed “Always, Belle!”

“I just don’t know how you do it” Olivia said.

I stopped stretching and looked at her “What do you mean?”

“Everything looks so easy with you”

I shrugged. I didn’t want to offend them by saying it really seemed easy for me “I don’t know what it is really. That doesn’t mean I will ever be a successful actress though”

They stared at me “Well, you have the highest chances of all of us”

“I don’t think so” I smiled. I was flattered, but I didn’t believe I could actually achieve that.

We had dance class then and I felt like that was the one thing I struggled most with. I looked over to Taron who moved with ease and shot me a wink. I smiled. It seemed all really easy for him too. I felt like some kind of brick wall trying to move around.

After singing class I ran off to my job, there had to be some way to pay for everything. I arrived at Pret just in time. I was out of breath as I walked to the back and got changed quickly. Rose worked the same job, but we didn’t always share shifts. Today was one of the shifts I had to endure on my own. Don’t get me wrong, it was a good job, but kind of exhausting while studying hard for acting.

I slept like a dead person that night and the next day started bright and early.

“I’m glad today is my day off” I sighed as I ate my muesli.

“Lucky you! I have to work today” Rose whined as she took a sip of her tea.

I smiled “Did you have fun last night though?”

“It was fun. We went to that new club” she paused “Taron asked for you”

I halted my spoon halfway to my mouth “He did?”

I was surprised because he knew I worked and he did too.

“Yeah” she shrugged “I told him you had a shift yesterday”

“Ah okay” He had probably just forgotten about me working.

We arrived at the school and I dreaded today. Even though everyone said I was really good at getting into character, I tended to have a hard time portraying certain scenes that hit too close to home.

I gulped down my tea when I heard voices behind me. I turned around to see Taron and Olivia chatting.

“Hey” I smiled.

“Hi” Taron smiled when he saw me “Bummer you couldn’t come yesterday”

“Yeah” I sighed “At least I’m off today. What about you?”

“I have to work tomorrow” he crunched his nose

“What? You don’t like to work at Peacock’s?” Olivia teased him and he chuckled.

“I feel like there is nothing I love more than working there” he said ironically.

I laughed.

“So, you’re free tonight?”

“I am” I replied. “Any plans?”

“I can’t tonight” Olivia said.

“We could get dinner?” Taron looked at me.

“Sure” I said “I didn’t even have dinner yesterday. I feel like I’m starving but it’s probably the only way to become one of those skinny actresses” I laughed.

I was thin, but I wasn’t super skinny. That was one of the things I was afraid of. Being successful would also mean staying in shape 24/7. Which meant you had to live on a strict and healthy diet.

“Okay great” Taron said as he clapped his hand on the side of my arm.

“See you later then” I smiled.

We had to act through various different sequences and I let out a breath after that was over. Screw that Gabe guy who thought he was God.

“You seem really exhausted. Are you okay?” Rose asked me.

“Yeah, yeah” I sighed “I’m good”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah” I smiled lightly “I don’t know why everyone is saying it’s so easy for me. It’s all really hard work”

“I get you, Mel” she smiled sympathetically. She knew exactly what I meant because she lived the same life.

Taron had texted me and we met up at ICCO, a pizzeria we frequently visited. He was already there when I arrived and we hugged.

“How are you?” he asked as we sat down.

The weird thing was we saw each other almost every day but we barely got to talk, just the two of us.

I let out a breath “Kind of tired and exhausted” I laughed. “How are you?”

He shrugged and I felt that something is up.

It took him a while to speak “I’m not sure I know what I’m doing”

“What do you mean?” I was confused.

“All these other-“ he paused “There are just all these rich people who don’t have to work a job or whatever and truly believe in getting successful -“

“I know” I groaned “I’m kind of jealous but there is nothing we can do”

“Yeah” he nodded “But they’re not even better actors than we are but they pretend to be”

“I know what you mean, Taron” I said.

We ordered our food and I wondered if we should actually change topics.

“You’re really good, you know?” Taron said eventually.

I met his eyes with my own “Do you really mean that?”

“Yeah” he nodded “I feel like you’re the best of all of us”

It meant a lot to me that he said it but I didn’t really feel like it was true.

“I don’t know” I sighed “And even if I was, it’s no promise of actually getting jobs after school. Like actual jobs and not working at Pret or something”

“But it’s a great start” Taron said.

“Yeah but if anything, you’re really good” I smiled at him “It all looks easy with you”

“It’s not that easy” he said.

“I know”

“Look at us swotters” he said and I laughed.

“I’d rather be a swotter than a social climber” I said.

“Me too” Taron agreed.

Our food arrived and we dug in.

“You’ll have to work again tomorrow?” I asked and regretted bringing up the topic.

We both weren’t particularly happy with our jobs but we had to have them to actually be able to pay for everything.

“Yeah” he sighed “I’m really glad when we get some time off”

“You mean in half a year?” I laughed. That still felt like ages ago.

Taron nodded while chewing his pizza “Yeah”

“You just need goals in life” I teased him and he smiled.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” he asked as we walked back to the Tube station.

“That is already a question, you know?” I smiled at him. “Sure”

“Do you ever – do you ever feel like you need to feel your character when you’re acting?”

I knew exactly what he meant. I thought about it.

“I’m not sure. I don’t think you always have to feel it, as long as you’re still in character”

“But -“ Taron continued “let’s say you’re in some real emotional scene, or rather your character is – doesn’t it have to hurt?”

“No, it doesn’t. Just because whoever you’re portraying is in a really dark place doesn’t mean you have to be too”

He looked at me, a second too long and I looked away.

“How do you just cry on cue?” he asked me.

I shrugged “I don’t know. I just do it”

He laughed “That sounds like something only a really good actress would say”

I smiled at him “Thanks, Taron. You’re not so bad yourself”

“I’m not so sure” he said.

“Hey, you’re an amazing actor. And don’t beat yourself up comparing your skills to those rich people who think they own the world”

He smiled at that “Thanks, Melanie”

I loved how he always pronounced my full name, not just my nickname.

“We can do this” I put my hand on his shoulder “We will get through this together and who knows where our journeys will lead us anyway”

“I know what you mean. RADA is no guarantee for actually getting good jobs afterwards”

“It’s partially your choice” I shrugged “You have to work hard for it”

“I know I wasn’t particularly diligent the first year but I’m just trying to find the place where I belong” he said.

“You will find it. I’m sure” I said, then let my shoulders fall “I don’t even know where I belong to be honest”

We arrived at the Tube station and both stopped because we knew we should have to take different directions.

“Say Hi to the trains from me” I smiled at him.

He still lived in that crappy flat. It had me wonder why he hadn’t moved in with Craig who lived on his own by now.

He grinned and hugged me. I enjoyed his hugs, maybe more than I let on. He let go of me eventually and his green eyes stared into mine.

“We should definitely act together sometime”

I smiled “Sure”

We had acted together in the first year and since we didn’t really know what we were doing we laughed most of the time. I bet this time would be different though, and I would be comfortable acting with him, compared to the rich dudes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Year Two according to RADA:
> 
> Assimilation
> 
> This year is about assimilation. The skills, techniques, working and research practices and exercises you developed in your first year need to be drawn together in this year, as you refine your process.
> 
> More independence, responsibility and resilience is expected. As you develop your unique process you will also be encouraged to consider speeches, plays and possible castings in anticipation of the final year.
> 
> Professional development continues with a more outward focus on the role of the professional actor in the industry, including panel discussions and workshops with actors, directors, producers and writers.  
> Class work
> 
> Building on the class work of the first year, further strands of training contribute to your development of a robust, independent process.
> 
> In acting training, Meisner technique (introduced in the first year) is deepened in weekly acting technique classes, as well as in screen acting classes where you will also learn self-taping and prepare for screen auditions. A devising strand is introduced with a focus on both theatre and film, building on the improvisation techniques accrued in the first year. The focus and rigour of these classes will enable you to develop as a responsive, truthful, imaginative and courageous actor.
> 
> In voice training, technique work is further enhanced by encounters with varied texts with distinct challenges; these are explored in regular classes and in sharings in RADA’s theatres and – where possible – non-theatre spaces.
> 
> Speech study encompasses a wider range of texts, from complex image-driven verse to political speeches and epic groups, expressed both individually and in groups. The second year also introduces dialect and accent study. Throughout the year, you will be guided through speech systems via playful vocal investigation, reflection and analysis.
> 
> In singing classes, you will begin to curate a repertoire of songs for presentations and auditions, forming a base for further development in the final year. You will take part in two singing presentations, with the emphasis on integrating singing technique with acting and character demands.
> 
> Movement classes in pure movement continue to a higher level, to develop technique and expressiveness. New strands of movement work in neutral mask, chorus work and character work are introduced. Dance and fight are developed so they can be applied to text and dramatic situations, and greater emphasis is placed on physicality as part of the actor’s process in rehearsal. You will also be expected to develop your own movement warm-up.  
> Projects  
> Performance
> 
> You will be introduced to a public audience at the end of the second year with the Shakespeare Schools’ Tours, which perform in London secondary schools, RADA’s Jerwood Vanbrugh Theatre and – where possible – at international festivals.


	3. 2011 - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taron and I act together

The summer holidays were over quickly and I had calmed down a bit. But this year would be tough and intense. We would graduate next year after all.

“The next project will include romance acting” our teacher Mrs. Anderson said and my heart was in my throat.

Romance acting? I would rather die than pretend to be in love with one of those arrogant guys. I glanced over to Rose and she seemed as taken aback as I was. It was part of the package of being an actor, doing stuff you didn’t particularly wanted to do.

“I will assign you to your partner for this specific topic so better start practicing” she said before looking down at her clip board.

She started reading names and I just prayed to God I wouldn’t be assigned to some complete asshole.

“Rose and Craig”

My eyes shot to Rose’s and she threw her hand to her face.

“Oh, dear God no” I whispered to her and didn’t even pay attention to the next names read out loud.

She glanced back at me, as hopeless as one could get. Then she gulped

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. Not like I’m such a good actress or anything anyway” she smiled half-heartedly.

“That’s all the names so please find your partner. Every one of you will be handed a scene you will have to re-enact in class together”

I blinked a few times. Who had I been assigned to?

“You’re so lucky, Mel” Olive, who sat on the other side of me, said.

I blinked “Who have I even been assigned to? I have been too busy feeling with Rose” I was too disgusted to even look for Craig.

“Taron” Olive said simply.

“What?”

“You’re assigned to Taron” she repeated.

It was as if a weight had been lifted off my body. Taron was one of my best friends so there should be no issues, we would rather have a lot of fun.

“Thank God” I breathed out. Luck was on my side, apparently.

I glanced at Taron and he winked at me. I smiled. Was that our thing?

I talked to our teacher and grabbed the sheet of paper with our scene on it. Taron walked towards me and I stopped dead in my tracks when I started reading the scene. It wasn’t more than a few minutes, but it was intense.

“So, what did we get?” he asked cheerily.

I handed him the paper and he flicked over it, then looked at me.

“Tell me you love me?” he smiled.

“Yeah” I smiled back “Apparently we are maaadly in love” I drew out the words.

He laughed “We should practice then, huh?”

“Yeah” I said.

How was I supposed to explain to him that I have never really been in love?

We both reread the scene and I sighed.

“Okay, so apparently these are two old lovers who try to find their way back to each other?”

Taron nodded “Yeah. But they seem to have been in love for years already, without even noticing?!”

“I don’t know. We could just work through it and see where we go with it”

“Good” he got up and held out his hand for me “Are you ready, Violet?”

I smiled. That was the name of my character.

I got up and took his hand “As ready as I’ll ever be, Andrew”

He laughed.

“How did it go with Craig?” I asked Rose that evening after our shift had ended.

She let out a breath “It was alright, but I would much rather act with someone else. I guess that’s just my kind of luck”

“I’m so sorry” I felt for her.

“Don’t be. I’m really happy for you”

“Why?”

“Well Taron is obviously amazing and a really good actor so you can both push each other, learn from each other”

“Yeah” I smiled. The practice today went quite well and we had had a lot of fun.

One week later we actually had to perform our scene in front of the class.

“Next up are Melanie and Taron” Mrs. Anderson said.

Taron and I got up and I was nervous as we walked up on stage. When I looked at Taron I knew I didn’t have to be though. We had rehearsed this so many times I could recite the whole dialogue in my sleep.

We stood opposite each other and when I looked into his eyes they reflected pure love. He was as good getting into character as I was. No, he was probably better.

“Violet” he sighed and took my hands.

I shook his hands off me and took a step back “I can’t do this, Andrew”

He furrowed his brows “Please give me a chance to proof I’m the right man for you” he took a step closer and I believed every word he said.

“I don’t want to get hurt again” I said, my voice quivering.

“I will never hurt you” he said, his voice barely above a whisper and my skin was covered in goose bumps.

I put a hand up to stop him from coming closer “I’m not ready” I let out a breath

Hurt was reflecting in his eyes “Tell me what to do, what to say. I’ll do everything”

I looked down and fumbled with my hands. Why did I not know what to do with my hands?

“Everything?” I asked hopefully.

“Of course” he replied “You know I would do everything for you. Ask me to jump off a cliff and I’ll do it”

During practice we always had to laugh at that bit, because it was quite drastic. But right now, with Taron standing this close to me, his voice full of determination, I believed he would actually jump off a cliff for me.

“Tell me you love me” I whispered.

He took a step closer and this time I let him “Of course I love you” he said and his eyes were glistening. Was he about to cry? “I have loved you for a while”

I smiled “I love you too, … Andrew”

He cupped my face in his hands and for a second, I thought he would kiss me. His eyes were flitting between my eyes and my mouth before he pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back tightly and the scene was over.

I took a step back and Taron and I both smiled.

“And that right there –“ Mrs. Anderson said “is proof that you don’t need much words to bring across what you’re feeling”

I looked over at Taron and he smiled as we walked back to our seats.

“We nailed it, eh?” I whispered to him.

“We most definitely did. Wooohooo” he smirked.

Rose sat next to me and gave me a thumbs up. I smiled.

“You totally looked like you loved each other. For a second I thought he would kiss you” she whispered into my ear so Taron couldn’t hear.

My heart jumped at her words. We had just acted the scene though.

“We were just acting” I whispered back.

That was what good acting was about, wasn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Year 3 according to RADA:
> 
> Applying your training
> 
> Year 3 focuses on application of your first two years of training. The third year includes 13 stage productions, six short films and four radio plays, as well as industry showcases. Screen acting and microphone technique form a vital part of our actor training.
> 
> Each student will be cast in four stage productions, one short film (and crewing on at least one other), and two radio plays (live and recorded). You will be part of a repertory company working with outside directors and creative teams, fully supported technically and with expectations of professional practice.
> 
> Class work continues but with less frequency. You will have regular voice and movement, acting lab, singing and reflective practice classes as well as ongoing professional development. Voice and movement support is part of all productions and may include requirements specific to the production, such as combat, singing and ensemble work.
> 
> Evening and weekend work is expected during third year as part of your regular timetable. The hours worked during the year may exceed 50 hours a week during production periods.


	4. 2011 - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taron and I rehearse for the Stephen Sondheim Society Student Perfomer of The Year Award 2011.
> 
> Based on true events. Check the notes at the end of this fanfic.

A few weeks later Taron was one of the two students chosen to compete for the Stephen Sondheim Society Student Performer of the Year Award 2011.

The dean read the names out aloud and it was unusual a second-year student got picked.

“Bloody hell” he threw his hand to his face.

I smiled. He deserved this so much. I hugged him and he hugged me right back.

“You deserve this so much, Taron” I whispered.

He let go of me and for a second, he looked at me the way he had when we had acted before blinking and that emotion was gone.

“I can’t believe they didn’t choose you, too”

“They chose you” I smiled “And I’m happy for you”

“You definitely need to help me” he said quickly before pausing “If you want that”

“Of course I’ll help you! We’re friends!”

His jaw clenched before his smile widened. He was probably just nervous. This award was a huge deal and it could open a lot of doors for him.

We practiced a lot together and it was like I was learning more from him than he from me. He passed the qualifying heats and was one of 12 students in the country to perform for the finale.

It was Saturday and we were both free so I visited him in his flat.

“Hi” he smiled when he opened the door for me.

“Hey” I hugged him.

“I can’t believe I will get to act on stage at the Queens Theatre” his voice was shaking with nervousness.

“You will do great, Taron” I put my hand on his shoulder “We have practiced so much I’m sure you will win this thing”

His eyes met mine “Do you really believe that?”

I gulped “I do. You’re an amazing actor and by now I’m really sure you’ll be successful”

“By now?” he smirked at me.

“I had my doubts” I teased him.

He laughed.

“Should we go through the songs again?” I asked him because I knew he was too humble to ask.

“I’d love that” he said “But only if you sing along”

I grimaced “You know my voice isn’t that good”

He put his hand under my chin and forced me to meet his eyes “You have the voice of an angel”

I smiled at his words, he was just trying to make me feel better.

“You’re good” I poked my tongue out at him.

We sang together and Taron’s voice was really strong and giving me goose bumps whenever he sang. I could tell he enjoyed it and he had told me before that he had a strong connection to music.

I gulped when we had finished. Something about performing with him made me feel unlike anything I had felt before. I felt safe and talented, but he also pushed me and brought out my best side.

We cracked up laughing when a train rushed by his window.

I had a shift at Pret later that day and met Rose there. I was always glad whenever we got the same shift.

“How did the rehearsing go?” she asked me as we filled the counter with freshly baked croissants.

“It went well” I sighed “I really do believe he has a chance to win”

“Are you sure?” Rose asked sceptically “There are really good other actors in the field”

“I know. But Taron is just –“ I was quite literally at a loss for words

Rose smiled “Look at you, all Team Taron”

I laughed “He’s my friend. Of course I want him to win”

“Are you sure that’s it?” she asked as she sorted the Belgian chocolate chip cookies.

“What do you mean?” I stopped what I was doing and looked at her.

She shrugged “I just think there might be more to it because I saw the way you looked at each other in that romance acting sequence”

My heart was still racing at the thought of that “That was just acting. You know we’re just actors and pretending”

“It didn’t look like you had to pretend all that much”

I thought about it before responding “You mean you believed him when he said he would jump off a cliff for me?” I laughed out loud.

“Maybe not that. But I believed every word he said about loving you”

My skin was tingling at her words. Was it a possibility that Taron was actually into me? I didn’t think so, we were friends and that was it.

“How are things with you and Daniel?” I asked her, trying to change the topic.

They had been dating for a few weeks. He had actually been a customer at Pret. I had seen him a few times and he was cute, but not really my type. I was happy she was in love though.

Her smile widened “It’s really good actually”

“You’re so in love” I smiled at her.

“I don’t even know if I have time for a relationship. I feel like I’m constantly learning or working”

I sighed “Tell me about it”

“That’s why Taron would be the best fit for you. You spend so much time together as it is”

I let out a breath “We’re not spending so much time together”

Rose gave me a knowing look “When was the last time you were at home in the evening or on the weekends? You’re either working or with Taron”

I thought about what she said. But I had just helped Taron rehearse, that was all.

“It will all go back to normal when Taron has won that award”

Rose just smirked at me “Whatever you have to tell yourself”

I couldn’t tell her I didn’t even know what true love felt like. I had never been in love in such way. I had to supress groaning. I wanted to become a great actress, but I also missed someone around me who truly loved me for who I was.

The evening of the finale rolled around and I dressed up in a dark blue lace dress and heels.

“Look at you, going all out” Rose teased when she saw me standing in front of the bathroom mirror applying makeup.

“Fuck off” I laughed “This is at the Queens Theatre after all. Who knows when we get to go there again”

She laughed “He will do good, you don’t have to worry”

I frowned for a second, I hadn’t even talked about Taron.

“I know” I gulped.

We arrived there and met Taron backstage. He was dressed in a light blue shirt with black tie and beige pants and vest. I didn’t think I had ever seen in a suit before. It looked good on him.

He smiled when he saw me. I knew him well enough to know he was incredibly nervous. He looked me up and down as I walked towards him and I blushed. He probably felt the same way, I rarely wore a dress and certainly not one like that.

“Hi” I said when I reached him.

“Hello” he said “How are you?”

I laughed “You ask me how I am? How are you?”

He smiled “I’m good. I think. I don’t know how to survive this”

“You will do great, Taron”

He looked at me for a split-second but didn’t respond.

“Tell me what to do, what to say. I’ll do everything” I had used a phrase from our pretend romance scene a few weeks back to cheer him up.

His smile widened “Everything?” he asked just like I had in that scene.

We both cracked up laughing.

“You better jump off a cliff for me” I laughed.

Taron’s smile faded slightly before he spoke “I totally would”

In that moment I didn’t know if he truly meant it or if he was just teasing me. He was probably just nervous and that was why it came across wrong.

“I certainly would too” I laughed.

The bell rang and it would be Taron’s turn soon. He looked incredibly frightened.

“Hug me” he whispered and I took a step closer.

I enjoyed as he put his arms around me and held me tight. It meant so much to me I seemed to be able to comfort him, calm him down.

“You will be great” I whispered before we let go of each other.

I walked away from him and turned around one last time and held up my crossed fingers before going to my seat in between Olive and Rose.

“How is Taron?” Olive asked.

I let out a breath “He’s good, I think. He’s just super nervous”

“Who wouldn’t be?” Rose chuckled.

The performance started and I was utterly blown away. I couldn’t even tell Taron had been that nervous before, because he was just that good. I looked over to Rose who was sitting next to me and she raised her eyebrows. She seemed to be as surprised as I was, even though we had known before that he was a great actor.

My heart was in my throat when they were about to announce the winner.

“Taron will totally win” Olive next to me said.

I just nodded and bit my lip.

Taron’s eyes met mine as he was on stage with all the other actors and I gave him a wink. I could see he had to supress smiling and I smiled.

Judge Kerry Ellis spoke about all of the performances and I barely paid attention, only glued to watching Taron.

“And the winner is” she paused and my heart skipped a beat “Taron Egerton”

Everyone clapped and cheered and my eyes were welling up as I watched Taron throw his hand to his mouth and accepting his award. I was so incredibly proud and happy for him.

“He deserved this so much” Olive said

“Oh he did” I whispered, my voice shaking.

We met him afterwards after he had taken photos.

“Performer of the year, eh?” I smiled as I walked towards him.

He pulled me into a hug straight away and I let out a breath. I felt like I had been as nervous as he had been.

“I couldn’t have done it without you” he whispered and I just shook my head as we let go of each other.

“That was all you, Taron. You kicked it out of the park”

“I couldn’t agree more. You were really good”” Olive said and my smile faded for a split-second. I had forgotten we hadn’t been on our own.

Rose shot me a glance and I smiled at her.

“Thank you” he hugged Olive too and jealousy panged through me. What was even wrong with me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 21 year old RADA student Taron Egerton won the coveted Stephen Sondheim Society Student Perfomer of The Year Award 2011 in the finale of the competition at the Queens Theatre in London’s West End on Sunday May 22nd. The competition featured all 12 finalists selected from the qualifying heats and required them to perform 2 songs, a Sondheim number and a new work from a musical theatre composer. Taron chose to sing “Giants In The Sky” from Into The Woods and “May As Well And Why Not” by Craig Adams and Nona Shepherd.  
> Asked why Taron stood out as the unanimous winner, judge, Kerry Ellis (pictured below with Taron) said one thing that set him apart was his totally believable understated performance which was echoed by another of the judges Timothy Sheader who recently produced Into The Woods at the Regents Park Open Air. Anna Francolini thought that his ability to hit and hold every note made his performances faultless, whilst composer and musical director, Sarah Travis, thought that there was a magic in his ability to draw the audience into the songs that he performed. Edward Seckerson, chair of the judges, believed that in another year anyone of the 12 would have been good enough to win but Taron gave a complete performance and as it says in the title it is “Performer Of The Year”.
> 
> Source: https://overtures.org.uk/?p=5501


	5. 2012 - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taron doesn't struggle anymore but I do.

This was madness. We were basically rehearsing and auditioning all day long. With some plays we almost had no preparation time but had to adjust to the scene in front of us. It was tough and I was so glad we would graduate soon.

Taron, of course, was famous after winning his award and didn’t have trouble finding more jobs.

Me, on the other hand, not so much. I had just shot a short film that was produced by RADA and was emotionally exhausted by it. I had played a woman in her early-thirties who had to give up her child in her teenage years. Everyone had assured me I had nailed that part, but I still didn’t believe in it.

Next up would be a Shakespeare play I dreaded. Maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a good actress after all.

I was rolling around in bed, happy I got the morning to myself when I heard my phone ring. I grabbed it from the bedside table to answer it.

“Hello?” I asked sleepily.

“Melanie?” It was Taron. “Where are you?”

“What do you mean?” I yawned “I thought we have this morning off”

“Not really” he said “We have to record the podcast”

All blood drained from my face. I had completely forgotten that. I jumped out of bed and almost forgot my phone. Halfway to the bathroom I turned around to pick it up again to answer Taron.

“I’ll be right there” I said breathlessly and I heard him chuckle.

“Sorry I’m late” I ran into class. I was breathless as I got out of my coat and joined the others.

Our class had been divided into several groups. Luckily, I was in the same group as Rose, Olive, Isabelle, Taron and his friends Jordy and Sioen.

“Since when are you late?” Sioen chuckled.

I smiled lightly “I slept in”

It wasn’t the truth, but it wasn’t particularly a lie either.

“Okay, so what do we have?” I asked, desperate to change the topic.

“We will have to record the reels” Olive said.

They were talking about recording voice reels for the podcast.

“Okay, good”

We worked our way through it and I got a hang of it, but was still thrown off balance. Would I seriously screw this up right before graduation?

I visited the bathroom eventually and saw Taron walk down the hallway towards me.

“Hey” I smiled.

He didn’t smile back though “What’s wrong?” he asked.

I shrugged “What are you talking about?”

“You seem –“ he paused “You seem different”

I laughed “I didn’t just change overnight. I’m just stressed, that’s all”

“Are you sure that’s it?”

I wanted to groan. Why did everyone think there was more to my story?

“That’s it” I answered, maybe a bit too harsh.

Night shots were next which completely threw me off. I didn’t even know why I struggled that badly. I felt like I had barely time to breathe, let alone sleep and eat.

“And… cut” the director said.

I let out a breath as I got out of character. Nothing like talking like Shakespeare to mess with my brain.

“That was good” he said to me and I smiled lightly

“Thanks”

“Are you okay?” Rose asked me as she detached her hair decoration from her hair.

“Yeah” I sighed “I’m good”

“You don’t look so good, though” she said sympathetically.

“I’m fine” I hissed.

“I’ll stay at Dan’s tonight, are you sure you’re good?”

“Yeah, sure.” I was actually looking forward to a night of my own “Have fun”

I was happy for her she was still in love with Dan, but I couldn’t put my finger on why I was in a bad mood.

“Okay good” she hugged me and left.

I grabbed the rest of my things and turned to head towards the Tube.

“Melanie” I heard Taron behind me.

“Taron” I said, my voice cold.

“Just wait” he held onto my arm so I couldn’t storm off.

I turned around towards him and rolled my eyes “What is it?”

His eyes looked into mine searchingly and my belly flipped. It was something that happened regularly and I hated it.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay”

“I’m fine”

“You say that all the time but I don’t believe you” he said, his voice soft.

I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I didn’t know what it was that I only ever let my guard down with him.

“Shhh” he whispered and pulled me into a hug.

I let him hug me and had to supress sobbing. We were only a few feet away from shooting location and I didn’t want to cause a scene.

“You know you can talk to me about everything, right?” he said.

I let go of him and he let go of me. I nodded and wiped the tears from my face.

“Yeah” I said quietly.

“Come on then” he wrapped one arm around me and we walked down the street. If I was being completely honest, I didn’t even care where we were going.

We ended up in his flat and I looked around, surprised. I didn’t even know how we got here. Or why Taron was still living here, for that matter.

“Talk to me” he said quietly as he got out of his coat.

I watched him, everything foggy to me. It was as if I was drunk but I knew I wasn’t. I was just exhausted.

“Why do you still live here?” I asked eventually.

“What?” Taron blinked a few times. It probably wasn’t what he expected to hear and I didn’t even expect to say it.

“Didn’t they give you a cheque after you won that award?”

“They did” he confirmed “But it doesn’t change anything for me”

“You could move somewhere else and just –“ I paused “Get out of here” I gestured around.

As to prove my point a tube train rushed by and I had to supress giggling.

When I finally looked at Taron, he smiled.

“That’s not a reason to leave” he said “And you’re avoiding talking to me”

“I’m not avoiding” I said, too quickly.

“You are” he took a step closer “And I don’t even know why”

I shrugged and looked down “I’m happy you’re successful. You will totally be super famous soon”

I sighed “Me on the other hand, I will probably be struggling to find jobs for years, not to say forever”

“Don’t say that” he said, his voice strong.

“Why?” I huffed “It’s the truth”

“It’s not the truth” Taron replied immediately and took another step closer to me “You’re an amazing actress and everyone sees it but you”

“I don’t think so” I laughed sarcastically.

“It is the truth. You just don’t see it”

“Just like you don’t see how talented you are” I pointed my finger at him.

“Maybe, but I’m not complaining, am I?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Now everything is my fault?” I hissed “Just great. I better go in that case”

I walked past him but he gripped my arm to stop me

“That’s not what I meant” he said, his voice calmer.

“Then what did you mean, Taron?” I asked, looking into his eyes searchingly, which I instantly regretted.

Was he acting right now? Or why was he looking at me like that?

“I’m just saying I want to help you. Whatever it is” he said “Just like you helped me”

“It was different” I said

“It wasn’t”

“It was” I disagreed. “It was very important”

“You are –“ he paused and ran his hands through his hair.

My eyes followed his movements.

“You are so stubborn” he completed his sentence.

I sighed “Yeah, apparently”

We both didn’t speak for a while and I looked down. I felt uncomfortable, yet happy to have him around. I was confused out of my mind.

“You put too much pressure on yourself” Taron said eventually.

“Maybe” I let out a breath “But I have every right to. Because I haven’t won an award or have several job offers”

The words were out of my mouth and I couldn’t take them back. Hurt was reflecting in Taron’s eyes and I regretted saying it

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that” I said.

“You’re right” he gulped “But that doesn’t mean you can’t be successful. It doesn’t mean you’re not a good actress”

“Then tell me why girls like Olive get jobs but I don’t” I was sad.

“They just don’t see how good you are” he said and my heart jumped.

I met his eyes again and he was sincere about this. It took me a while to register what he had said

“They don’t see what I see” he continued.

“Why?” my voice was barely above a whisper “What do you see?”

He took a step closer and took one of my hands in his. My skin burnt where he touched me. What was even wrong with me?

“You’re an amazing actress without even having to struggle with it and –“

“But I do struggle” I interrupted him

He smiled “Let me finish my sentence”

“Sorry” I looked down again

“You’re great” he continued “Everyone sees it but you don’t. And you’re also a great friend”

I met his eyes and smiled “I’m not so sure. I was really rude to my friends recently”

He smirked “Yeah. But if you’re friends are real friends they can see right past your facade”

My heart jumped. Which facade was he talking about?

He pulled me into a hug before I could reply and I sighed against him. He felt like home to me.

“Thank you, Taron” I said at some point.

He didn’t let go of me though and I just enjoyed the feeling of him this close to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to RADA:
> 
> Screen acting work culminates in film productions, giving you the experience of realising a screen performance within a supported professional shooting environment. The films require acting and crewing, providing experience both in front of and behind the camera, to understand and appreciate the technical demands and expectations of a professional film set.
> 
> Shot on location and with minimal preparation time, you will need to adapt and refine your personal creative process to work quickly and efficiently alongside visiting professionals. The completed films are screened to industry before being entered into international film festivals. You will also be given access to the finished films for show reel purposes. See a sample of our short films here.
> 
> Microphone work culminates in radio productions and the creation of individual voice reels. The radio plays and voice reels are directed by visiting professionals from the radio and audio industries, and include a combination of studio recordings and live recording in front of an audience. Copies of the completed work are available to students after being professionally edited.
> 
> Film and radio productions take place over a five-week period. Radio occupies the first two weeks and ends with a live radio production in front of an audience. Students are then divided into three groups, allowing you to rotate between acting in a film, crewing in a film and recording voice reels. The recording/shooting process follows standard professional hours (8-10 hours a day, up to six days a week) and may involve filming on location overnight.


	6. 2012 - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up, all fluff and feels!

I had found my way back on track and it was all thanks to Taron. Or was I just imagining things? I didn’t want us to part ways soon when we would both graduate.

I was working my job at Pret, praying I wouldn’t have to work here for all eternity, especially during rush hour. I was glad for every nice customer though and once the rush hour had subsided. I went to change in the staff room and saw Taron sitting at one of the tables. It was already past midnight and pitch-black outside.

“What are you doing here?” I smiled and sat down next to him.

“Just thought I’d watch you in action” he looked good in his jeans jacket.

“Can’t you do that when we’re filming?” I laughed.

He just shrugged and thrust his hands in his jeans pockets “I wanted to tell you something”

“What is it?”

“I got a part in a theatre play”

My eyes widened “You did? Oh God I’m so happy for you!”

His smile widened “Yeah. It’s for the Royal National Theatre”

“Oh my God Taron, this is a huge deal!” I slung my arms around him before I could think better of it and he hugged me back.

“Thank you” he said quietly

“Which play is it?” I asked.

“The Last of the Hausmanns”

Taron had to rehearse a lot and with RADA and his job he was busy all the time. I didn’t know how he could still remain calm but luckily our graduation was coming up in only a few weeks so he could focus on his theatre role then only.

“Let me know if I can help you with anything” I said when I caught him between classes.

He paused for a second “There is a thing you could help me with, actually”

I was happy he still appreciated my help, even though we both knew he didn’t need it.

“Sure” I smiled “What is it?”

“Can you come by my place on Thursday?”

“Uhm” I thought about whether I had to work or not “Yeah, I think I’m free there”

“Nice” he put his hand on my shoulder “Thanks, Melanie. I have to run”

He hurried out of the door and I watched him as he left. All that hard work would pay off for him.

“Where is Taron off to again?” Olive asked as she walked to stand next to me.

I shrugged “I don’t know. I’m guessing rehearsals”

“He’s so busy” she smiled but rolled her eyes “I don’t know how he does it”

“Me neither” I agreed.

I went home that evening to find Rose was staying with her boyfriend again. I enjoyed I had some alone time and sat down on our couch. I let out a breath as I worked through a script that included dancing. I had gotten better at it but I still didn’t nail it.

I got up from the couch and went through my movement routine and improvised through the scenes. Maybe I was a good actress after all.

Thursday rolled around and I walked by Pret to get some food with my employee discount before taking the Tube to Taron’s place. It felt like ages to get there, he could save so much more time to live closer in the city centre.

I rang the bell and he opened the door for me.

“Hello” he smiled

“Hi” I held up the Pret paper bag “I brought food”

“Oh great, thank you” he took the bag from me as I got out of my light jacket and followed him into the kitchen.

“So, you’re off tonight?” I asked and helped him unpack all the food. Maybe I overdid it a bit.

“Yeah” he sighed “Thank God. I feel like I’m constantly on the run”

I laughed “It certainly looks like you are”

He chuckled and we headed towards his couch to eat.

“What can I help you with?” I asked eventually.

“I – I don’t really know how to explain”

“Well, do you have a script?”

“I have but I’m not allowed to show it to anyone” he grimaced.

I furrowed my brows “I don’t know how I’m supposed to help you then”

He looked at me before looking away and I knew something was up.

“Taron?” I asked.

He let out a breath “There’s a kissing scene in there and we never even dealt with that at RADA”

My blood froze in my veins. We really had never practiced that kind of stuff.

“That’s awful. It has me wondering why we didn’t rehearse that when we were dealing with all these romance topics” I crunched my nose.

Then I realised what I had said. That would have meant that Taron and I would have had to kiss during our scene.

Taron looked at me “Yeah”

“How can I help you with -?” Then it really hit me.

“I thought maybe we could practice that together?” he said but didn’t look at me.

He wanted us to practice kissing?

I laughed “Well we have both kissed other people before so I don’t know how it matters. It’s probably the same on stage”

“I’ve never kissed somebody on stage though” Taron said.

Yeah, neither had I. That had to be incredibly uncomfortable.

“Are there differences between stage kisses and normal -?” I gulped.

Taron shrugged “I don’t know. It was probably a stupid idea to ask you to help me with that”

“No, it wasn’t” I put my hand on his thigh “At least we can both learn from it, right?”

He smiled at me “I even thought about setting up a camera here” he rolled his eyes “I don’t even know what has gotten into me”

“It’s not a bad idea” I said as I thought about it “That’s the only way to see if it actually looks good”

“Okay” he said and got his digital camera from his cupboard.

I was surprised I was that calm. I hadn’t kissed that many boys before, I was 21 by now, Taron was 22. We were best friends so what was the big deal? In the end, we were just helping each other improve our acting technique.

“Where should we sit or stand?” I asked after he had set up the camera.

“I’m thinking-“ Taron looked from me to the camera “We could just sit on the couch”

“So, can you give me any details on the kissing scene itself?” I asked.

“Uhm –“ he hesitated “I’m not sure to be honest”

He sat down next to me and suddenly shit became very real.

“It doesn’t really matter” I said “For the camera I mean”

He chuckled “I know what you meant”

“Okay good” I smiled “So how do we do this? You know the scene better than I do”

He sat a bit closer and I moved my body towards his.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Taron whispered.

Our faces were already pretty close “It’s just a kiss, Taron”

He nodded and leant forward. His eyes flitted between my eyes and my lips. My body was tense with the way he looked at me, the same way when we had pretended to be in love. He was a great actor to switch it on that quickly but I probably looked the same.

I leant forward a bit and he covered the remaining space between us until his lips touched mine. He cupped my face in his hands and my fingers trembled as I wrapped them around his neck. We kept the kiss soft and only then it really hit me that I had never been kissed like that. My whole body was tingling and he barely touched me. His lips felt soft and tender against mine, as if they were always meant to be there. Was that how actors fell in love with each other?

We broke away eventually and I let out a breath.

“Do you think that was good?” I asked, no idea how I could keep my voice even.

“Uhm” Taron pressed his lips together “I’ll check”

He got up and looked at the camera. He seemed as confused as I felt. I got up to stand next to him. Watching us kissing was probably the hottest thing I had ever seen. It really looked like we were madly in love.

“That looks okay” I said “I guess it just depends on which kind of kiss you have to have on stage” I shrugged.

Taron didn’t reply.

“I mean is that okay or do we have to deepen the kiss?” I cringed at my choice of words.

It sounded like I had hated kissing him. And I most definitely hadn’t hated it.

“I don’t think that will be necessary” he said quietly.

I never told anyone that Taron and I had kissed. And it seemed like we both didn’t make a big deal out of it. I even watched Taron play that part on stage and it looked pretty similar to what we had done. And school was finally over, which was great and terrifying at the same time.

“I can’t believe we have graduated” I smiled at Rose

“Tell me about it” she smiled “Mel, this is it!”

“Ahhhh” I was beside myself.

“What’s the plan for tonight?” Jordy asked.

“We all wanted to go to a karaoke bar” Olive said

I crunched my nose “Are you sure that’s such a good idea?”

“Oh, I’m sure we will have so much fun” Taron walked up behind me and I whirled around. How had I not seen him earlier?

“Let’s go then” Olive smiled.

“I don’t think I have ever been that drunk” I slurred slightly. The others seemed to be able to understand what I was saying though.

“I’m more drunk than you are” Rose mumbled.

Her boyfriend Dan chuckled.

“Who’s singing next?” Sioen asked before gulping down half his beer.

“I’m definitely not singing” I said as I got up and walked towards the bathroom. The room shifted as I walked and I held onto a chair as to not fall over.

“Are you okay?” Taron asked and there was that look in his eyes again.

“I’m fine. I’m fine” I said and walked off. What was his deal?

Once in the bathroom I felt sick and threw my hand to my mouth before throwing up into the toilet.

“Urgh” I groaned. I would never drink again.

“Are you okay Mel?” Isabelle asked. How was she not drunk?

“Yeah, yeah” I breathed out “I’m perfect”

I heaved until I finally felt better and walked out of the stall to wash my hands and look at myself. I looked awful. I didn’t even know why I got drunk that badly.

I walked out of the bathroom to find Taron and Olive singing on stage. I sat down next to Rose again, listening to Taron singing in awe. Maybe it was the alcohol but something about watching Taron moving and singing on stage was incredibly sexy.

I had a hard time catching my breath. When the song was over Olive grabbed and kissed him right on the lips. I was taken aback and rolled my eyes. Taron wasn’t even into her, was he? He kissed her back though and my heart broke into pieces as I watched them make out on stage and everyone cheered. I felt sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	7. 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is goodbye.

“What do you mean you’ll move back to Germany?” Rose stared at me.

I looked down “I just have to. I haven’t found a job here yet and it doesn’t make any sense to stay here longer”

I felt like crying. All my dreams were crushed.

“You don’t even know if you’ll get a job in Germany” she said

“It’s much easier though” At least that was what I told myself.

“Maybe Taron could get you a role or something. Recommend you to some people” she tried to convince me to stay and I loved her for it.

“I don’t want to leave, believe me” I looked at her “But I have to”

She looked at me for a second before responding “Does it have anything to do with Taron?”

My heart jumped “What do you mean?”

She gave me a knowing look and I knew what she meant, even before she spoke “Because he’s with Olive now?”

“I’m happy for them” I lied. “It doesn’t change anything about my career”

“I don’t want you to leave” she said, her voice quivering.

“Me too” I whispered “I hope I’ll be back”

We hugged and it broke my heart to leave her. We had been besties for years. She would be fine without me though, Daniel and her were closer than ever.

“Did you tell Taron yet?” she asked eventually

I pulled one leg up, sitting on the couch “I haven’t”

“Are you planning on telling him?” she knew me better than I knew myself

“Of course. I just don’t know how to tell him”

I met up with Taron a few weeks later. We saw each other regularly together with our friends, but I wanted to tell him alone. I was probably acting all weird, but it was important to me to have him to myself one last time.

“Heeey” he smiled and got up from his chair when he saw me enter the café.

My smile widened, whenever he was around and it was just the two of us.

“Hi” I smiled and he pulled me into a hug before I could stop him. Not that I wouldn’t have wanted to stop him.

“How are you?” I asked after I had ordered my tea.

“I’m good. I will actually start shooting The Smoke soon” he said.

He had told me about the series where he would play a firefighter. It was a huge deal and I was happy he got the role.

“That’s great, Taron” I smiled but my smile faded.

I didn’t want to keep up an act, not when it was just the two of us.

“What’s wrong?” he asked

I looked up at him “What do you mean?”

He paused for a second and looked into my eyes searchingly “Something seems off”

I let out a breath “I have to tell you something, I just don’t know how to tell you”

He reached for my hand across the table and took my hand in his. I had to supress a shiver.

“You can tell me, I won’t bite” he smirked.

I smiled before looking down. My hand felt good in his, too good. He had a girlfriend after all.

“Taron, I –“ I ran my hands through my hair

“Why is this so hard?” I whispered to myself.

“Look at me” he whispered and I did.

His eyes were sincere, tender, soft, kind. It didn’t make what I said next any easier.

I inhaled “I’ll go back to Germany”

It took him a split-second to realise what I had said and his features changed drastically. He seemed sad. And I couldn’t blame him. I was just as sad to leave my friends behind, but I had to do it.

“Why?” he asked.

I shrugged “I just have to do it”

“You don’t have to leave” he said “I can check if I can get you a job”

I smiled lightly “That’s nice of you, but that’s not how it’s supposed to be like being an actress. You can’t just get me jobs till we’re old”

“I could always try” he winked.

I had to laugh, even though I was incredibly sad. “I’ll leave tomorrow, Taron”

His lips parted and he didn’t say something for a while. I knew what he was thinking. I hadn’t decided this only today and he was probably wondering why I hadn’t told him earlier.

“Promise me you’ll be back?”

“Definitely” I smiled, even though I felt like crying.

Whatever we talked about after that was a blur. Taron didn’t even talk about how things were with him and Olive and I didn’t want to hear about it anyway. I was happy he was happy though.

I dreaded saying goodbye to him as we left the café, but I knew it needed to be done. And I needed to hug him one last time.

“Call me when you land?” he asked as we stood opposite each other on the pavement.

“I will” I would. But we wouldn’t be able to be in such close contact anymore after I was back in Germany. And maybe that was just what I needed.

“We can still stay in contact, right?” he sounded unsure, but hopeful.

“I hope so” I looked down.

“Hey” he put his hand under my chin and forced me to meet his eyes.

My belly flipped at the way he looked at me. I would miss him so dearly, it was as if I was leaving a piece of my heart behind.

“I couldn’t have done all that without you, so let me know if I can help you with anything. Whatever it is” he said.

I smiled “I will, Taron. Thank you”

He leaned in closer and kissed me on the cheek. He lingered a second and I pulled my arms around him and pulled him into a hug. One last time.

I felt his strong arms around me and his breath against my neck. It felt like I was right where I was meant to be, even though it wasn’t the truth. Not anymore.

“I will miss you” I whispered before turning around and not looking back.


	8. 2014 - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is exciting!

“That was good work” the director Lars said after rehearsal “Well done”

“Thank you” I smiled.

I had gotten a part in a theatre play near my home town a few weeks after I had moved back home. It was weird to be back there and I missed my friends so much it broke my heart. Rehearsals went great though and I started to get used to being back in Germany.

Rose and I phoned every now and then. Taron tried to call me a few times but I didn’t always answer. We talked after I had just moved but it made me feel worse for leaving London when we did. I missed him most of all people and I was ashamed of it.

Should I have fought for him? Should I have told him how I felt? That I wanted to be with him instead of Olive?

A few weeks later the play premiered and I was so happy with my performance. I felt like I finally knew that my acting wasn’t all that bad.

“How did the premiere go?” Rose asked when we phoned that night.

“It went well” I smiled “I’m glad I’m back on track”

“I’m happy for you” she said.

“How are things with you and Dan?” I asked her.

“We’re good” she sighed “We’re both just really busy”

“Oh I get you” I said “I wish I could grab a coffee with you and just chat” I sighed.

“I miss you too, Mel”

I didn’t dare asking how Taron was. He was probably great shooting his new series and Olive by his side. She was still my friend but we rarely talked. I couldn’t really blame her for being with him, something I didn’t have the guts to do.

“Taron misses you too, you know?” Rose said as if she knew I was thinking of him.

I let out a breath “He has no reason to miss me. He has his friends and girlfriend around”

“You know it’s not the same” she said.

“Well, I miss him too”

“Why don’t you answer his calls then?” she asked.

I was surprised “He talked to you about this?”

“Duh” Rose breathed out “He misses you, Mel. And he doesn’t even get a hold of you”

I sighed “It just hurts too much to talk to him, you know?”

“I know” she said instantly.

“It’s best I left him. He’s happy and successful where he’s at. And he doesn’t need me anymore. He never really needed me”

“It seems to me like he needs you”

“What are you talking about?” I frowned.

“Apparently he’s struggling with his role. But he doesn’t talk to anybody about it. Not even Olive”

My heart jumped. Did he really only want to talk about this with me?

“I’ll give him a call sometime” I sighed.

I went out with my colleagues a few days later. Some of them had become friends by now and I felt like I was where I belonged.

“I can’t believe you ditched London for this” my friend Susi laughed.

“I know” I smiled.

“What made you come back here?” Pascal asked.

“I got a job offer here” I lied “It’s much easier to get a job here than in London” I tried to laugh it off.

“Oh I believe you” Susi said “I wish I visit London sometime”

“Have you never been?” I asked before taking a sip of my drink.

“Nope” she said

“I love it there” Pascal said. “Haven’t been there for a while though”

“Yeah, it’s great” I agreed. I tried to shake the thoughts and memories that started to flood my brain. It was time to move on.

“So, tell me, is there anything going on between you and Felix?” Pascal asked. He was gay and loved gossip.

I laughed “No. Why do you ask?”

“Well, because of that kissing scene, darling” he smiled.

“He has a point” Susi agreed. “That looks incredibly believable”

I shrugged and pushed the thought of Taron out of my mind “It’s just work”

He wasn’t even my type anyway.

I walked back to my flat that night. I pulled out my phone and scrolled though my contacts. I smirked when I found Taron’s name and pressed _Call_. I just wanted to hear his voice; the call would go to voicemail anyway. It was in the middle of the night.

“Hello?” his voice was sleepy and my body tingled at hearing his voice.

“Hi, it’s me” I said quietly, feeling guilty for waking him up.

“Melanie?” he sounded so hopeful.

“The one and only” I smiled. That was probably the alcohol talking.

“I’m so glad you called” he sounded more awake now.

“I’m sorry I woke you up” I cringed. What was I even thinking?

“You can wake me up any day or night” I could practically hear him smile.

It meant so much to hear him talk to me like that, even if he was only teasing me.

“How are you?” I asked, trying to make conversation somehow.

“I’m good” he said “How are you though? How is Germany?”

_I miss you._

“It’s great, thanks” I said “The play I’m in just premiered a few days ago and apparently people love it”

“Told you you’re great” he said “I’m happy for you” I heard him close a door.

“Maybe we should just phone some time else” I said, regretting that I called him.

“Don’t you dare hanging up now that I finally got you on the phone” he laughed.

I smiled “You’re almost through with shooting the first season, right?”

I couldn’t believe I remembered what he had told me almost a year ago.

“Yeah” he sighed.

“I can’t even watch it in Germany” I pressed my lips together.

I could hear him let out a breath “Apparently it’s not successful so they will cancel the show after this season”

“Oh Taron” I said instantly “I’m so sorry”

“Don’t be” he said “Looks like one of us is successful at least”

“I wouldn’t call it successful for a play in the middle of nowhere”

“Stop underestimating yourself, Melanie”

“Thanks” I smiled. He believed in me even when nobody else did.

We talked for a while and Taron didn’t even seem to mind that it was really late. Neither did I. I had missed talking to him; it was as if only he understood what was going on in my mind.

A few weeks later I was on the platform waiting for my train to arrive. They were always late in Germany. I groaned as they announced through loudspeakers it would take another 15 minutes and I pulled out my phone to check it. I had a missed call from a number I didn’t recognise. I called them back.

“Hello, this is Crew United, how may I help you?”

“Uh hello, this is Melanie speaking. You tried to reach me?”

“Oh yes, please hold for a second, I will put you through to our casting manager”

 _Casting manager?_ My blood froze in my veins.

“Thanks for calling back, Melanie. This is Reg Poerscout. I was trying to reach you regarding a job offer”

“That’s very flattering, thank you. Which role is it about?”

“It’s an action movie. We will fly you in for a casting. Would you be free the day after tomorrow?”

“Uh sure. Where is the casting at?”

“London” he answered immediately. “We will start shooting quite soon so we would like you to audition as soon as possible”

“That won’t be a problem”

“Perfect. Let me send you the details and see you soon. My assistant will discuss all the details with you”

“Thank you very much”

I talked to his assistant again and a few hours later I received an email. They would pay for my flight ticket and my hotel stay even though I had insisted they wouldn’t. Why were they even so keen on getting me to audition?

I clicked on the email and it read

“Audition for Kingsman movie”


	9. 2014 - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Auditioning for Kingsman and reuniting with Taron!

_[referring to the puppy Roxy has chosen]  
Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin: A poodle?  
Roxy: What? They’re gun dogs. Oldest working breed. Easy to train.  
[looking at Eggsy’s puppy]  
Roxy: A pug?   
Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin: It’s a bulldog, ain’t it?  
[Roxy gives him a look]  
Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin: It’ll get bigger though, won’t it?  
[Roxy shakes her head]  
Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin: Shit._

I was reading through the script and had to smile to myself before looking out the window of the plane. I couldn’t wait to be back in London. The role seemed to be amazing, a really strong female recurring character. I didn’t even tell Taron about it, I wanted it to be a surprise.

I took the Tube to Rose’s place. She had insisted I would stay with her a few days and I had missed her so much I couldn’t wait to see her again.

She had left the door key with her neighbour and I let myself in because she and her now-husband Dan were both at work. I sighed as I dropped my backpack to the floor and sat down on the couch. How much I had missed to be in London.

Should I give Taron a call? I smiled and decided to wait, maybe just pop up at his place and surprise him. That was probably an awful idea but I didn’t want him to get his hopes up. I wouldn’t stay, unless I got that role.

I changed into a jeans, shirt and pleaded jacket before taking the Tube to the headquarters of Crew United. I decided to leave my hair open and applied some makeup to look good, but not overdo it since I felt like Roxy wouldn’t be that kind of a girl.

I was getting more and more nervous as I reached their building. What if they wouldn’t hire me? Or what if they would?

I was getting in line and tried to get through the dialogues again and they had me sign a confidentiality agreement. Then they called my name.

I got up from my chair and my knees were wobbly as I walked into what seemed to be the audition room. I shook their hands and got ready for my audition piece.

The audition went quite well and they would actually call me. Or at least that is what they said. I was quite happy about it, that they even had considered me. But I didn’t think it would lead anywhere.

I got my phone from my handbag as I walked towards the Tube station. I realised Taron had tried to call me. I smiled and called him back.

“Hi” he answered

“Hello, how are you?” I tried to get away from one of the main traffic roads to hear him more clearly.

“What’s that noise the background?” he laughed.

I smiled “I’m in London”

“You’re what?” I loved his high-pitched surprised voice.

I laughed “Yeah, I wanted to surprise you, actually”

“I’d say you achieved that” he seemed stoked. “What are your plans?”

“I auditioned for a movie role just now. Would you want to meet up?”

“I’d love to” he said “I have news too”

“Perfect” I smiled

“Where are you at right now?”

“Canary Wharf” I looked around as I stared at the beautiful glass architecture tube station.

“Great, let’s say Canary Café in 20?” he suggested.

“Sure, see you then” I smiled like a fool when we had hung up.

What was my deal anyway?

I strolled through the shopping mall and the longer I stayed and looked around, the more I missed London. Or maybe I was just fooling myself.

I walked over to Canary Café. The place looked nice and homey, full of couches and lounge chairs. I looked for a table for the two of us and sat down in one of the lounge chairs facing the entrance.

I got out my phone and texted Rose

_< <The audition went well, will be back to your place later>>_

She responded immediately

_< <Gee, crossing fingers you’ll get that role! Talk later!>>_

“Melanie?”

Taron’s voice had me shivering. I looked up to find him walking towards me, smiling. I got up from my lounge chair and he pulled me into a tight hug as soon as he reached me. I sank against him and breathed him in. How was it possible I had missed him so much?

“Hey” I whispered.

I let go of him and he of me and sat down in the chair next to mine.

“How are you?” he smiled.

_I’m good now._

“I’m fine” I shrugged “Let’s see how everything turns out”

“You auditioned for a role?” he raised his eyebrow “You have to tell me everything about that one”

I smiled “Yeah, definitely. Let me buy you a coffee first though”

In the end, Taron insisted on paying and I got a chai latte and a blueberry muffin. I felt like I hadn’t eaten anything all day.

“Hungry much?” Taron teased me. He had only just ordered tea.

“Don’t judge” I grinned at him.

“So, what’s your news?” I asked while chewing.

The corners of his lips curved upwards “I just got cast in a really huge project” he rolled his eyes “I can’t quite believe it”

“What project is it?” I asked before taking another bite of the muffin.

“It’s called Kingsman” he said in his low voice.

The muffin went down the wrong pipe and I started choking. Taron looked genuinely concerned and right there I thought I was dying to. I could eventually come up for air and took a sip of my chai latte. There were tears under my eyes I wiped away and found Taron still looking at me, worried.

_It couldn’t be. Could it? Kingsman?_

“Are you alright?” he asked.

I nodded “Yeah, so you were saying?”

He narrowed his eyes slightly “It’s an agent spy movie that is set to be a trilogy”

“That’s a huge deal Taron” I tried to smile “I’m really proud of you”

“There is something you’re not telling me” his eyes flicked between my eyes.

Why did he know me so well?

I sighed “The project I auditioned for today?” I asked and Taron nodded “That was Kingsman”

Taron looked surprised but I couldn’t be sure.

“You had nothing to do with that, did you?” I asked.

“No” he said immediately “Why would you say that?”

I shrugged. Was I overreacting? “Because you always said you would help me get a role”

“You said you didn’t want that though” he responded “So I wouldn’t interfere”

Was that fate or something?

“Well they didn’t even hire me yet so who knows” I looked down.

“You’re great. I’m sure they will hire you” he smiled.

I smiled lightly. It would definitely be great to work with him. That was if we would have any scenes together.

“Which role were you cast in?”

“Eggsy” Taron said and my blood froze in my veins.

“What about you? Which role did you audition for?” he asked

“Roxy”


	10. 2014 - Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taron and I shoot Kingsman. Wohooo!

“Nice cap” I teased him and he slapped me on the shoulder playfully.

“Of course you have to be all beautiful and intelligent” Taron looked me up and down in my Roxy outfit.

I blushed, even though he was only just teasing me. I would have to get a grip.

They had hired me as Roxy and I was still beside myself about it. I got to work together with Taron and possibly get famous by this. Even if I didn’t nearly have as many scenes in it as Taron, almost every scene I shot included Taron.

I still stayed with Rose, even though I had insisted finding my own place. She said I could stay with her as long as I needed to but I wanted to look for a place of my own soon.

We walked back to the makeup trailer to get changed. The next scene would all of us wearing halo suits. We laughed as we looked at each other. One of our class mates from RADA Eddie made it into the cast too and he had the pleasure of playing a villain. It also took some getting used to for me because it was practically only men around, but luckily I had Taron.

Back on set we all stood in front of a green screen. I was pretty nervous but also stoked to see what was next. We would all float after all, meaning they would have to attach us to wires somehow.

After they all strapped us in and lifted us in the air we were forming a circle. I was opposite Taron and somehow, I could only focus on him. And I would definitely have muscle soreness tomorrow.

_Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin: Shit, we’re an odd number now! Quick, make a circle!  
Charlie: Fuck, he’s right! Boys, let’s do it.  
[they all grab each other’s hands]  
Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin: We pull our cords one by one! When we know who’s fucked, the person on their right grabs them.  
Roxy: Okay, Eggsy.  
[as he watches their progress back at the headquarters]  
Merlin: Good plan, Eggsy. You have thirty seconds. Come on now, hurry.  
Digby: Me first!  
[he pulls his parachute which opens pulling away from the group]  
Digby: Oh, fuck! Yes!_

_[as their altitude is getting lower and lower]  
Hugo: Okay, me next.  
[he pulls his parachute and it opens pulling away from the group]  
Hugo: See you on the ground, boys.  
Charlie: Now me!  
[Charlie pulls his parachute and it opens]_

They yelled CUT and we all laughed.

“This better look good on screen” I giggled.

“Well enjoy the rest of this because we are out of here” Eddie winked.

I groaned playfully. Taron and I would have to continue doing that after everyone else had already pulled their parachute, it was only just the two of us left. And that had me kind of worried.

“Are you alright?” Taron whispered.

I nodded and bit my lip “Yeah. Hate to say it’s kind of exhausting”

He smirked. He knew I didn’t like sport, but there was no avoiding that.

Taron and I were standing opposite each other when they strapped us in and lifted us again.

“Good thing we’re not afraid of heights, eh?” Taron laughed.

“Tell me about it” I rolled my eyes playfully. I would have another scene with heights coming up.

“And ACTION”

Taron expression changed on cue, gone from playful to worried “Fuck! Roxy, not matter what happens now, I’ve got you, alright?” he yelled.

Why did I believe he was talking to me instead of my character?

He took my hands and we held on to each other as we were falling. I stared at him and knew he would always save me, no matter what. Where were these thoughts even coming from? My hands felt good in his, too good.

“Yours first, okay?” he said.

“Yep. Hang on!” I yelled and he attached his suit to mine.

If I thought we had been close before, this was intensely close.

“Oh shit” I yelled as we were supposedly falling without a parachute, reaching the ground.

His legs were around my waist and we were whirling. I was starting to feel dizzy. Losing track of time and place as we held on to each other for dear life. Then I tried to think back to my lines.

Taron pulled my parachute and it opened. He fell though and could barely hold on to my legs as we fell. All part of the script, of course.

“Shit!” I yelled and I definitely enjoyed all that cursing.

“Rox” Taron called as if he could no longer hold on to my feet.

“Fuck” I gasped as we both reached the ground which was a green screen and lay next to each other both breathing hard.

“And CUT”

“You’re telling me he had his legs around your waist?” Rose stopped the fork on the way to her mouth.

I laughed “It was all part of the script”

She gave me a knowing look “Uh-huh. Wanna tell me it _felt_ like a part of a script?”

I looked down “No, it didn’t”

Neither of us spoke for a few seconds.

“It doesn’t change anything though. He is with Olive and I’m – I’m single” I groaned.

“Let me tell you one thing” Rose said “He would rather be with you than with Olive”

I looked up, trying not to get my hopes up “What are you talking about?”

“They haven’t been on good terms for a while” she shrugged.

“What’s _a while_?”

“I don’t know Mel” she sighed “You have to ask him that”

I didn’t even feel hungry anymore but I ate the pasta in front of me anyway. Why had he not talked to me about it?

I took the Tube over to his place the next day which was our day off. I rang the bell and he opened the door for me.

“Hey” he hugged me “Come on in”

I walked inside and his place looked like a mess. He didn’t live in Hackney anymore, but a nicer neighbourhood and I was surprised his place looked that unorganised. I had remembered it looking different in Hackney.

“Is something wrong?” I frowned.

Taron just shrugged “Olive just moved out”

_Say what?_

“What? Why?”

“Let’s talk later” he let out a breath “I need to get out of here”

We took his car over to Richmond Park and the ride was quiet. What was wrong with him? We walked into the park and I waited for Taron to say something but he didn’t.

“What’s wrong, Taron?” I asked when we were in the middle of nature.

“It’s just –“ he exhaled “I should have known it wouldn’t work out in the long run”

“Why are you saying that?” I asked and put my hand on his shoulder.

His green eyes looked into my brown ones and my belly flipped. What was even going on?

“You really have no idea, do you?” he asked, serious, yet soft.

I frowned and shook my head “What do you mean?”

He sighed “Just distract me”

I laughed “I think I can do that. So, you know how I told you about my colleagues in Germany?”

He nodded “Yeah”

“Well I told you Pascal is gay right?” Taron nodded again “He ended up dating my co-star” I laughed.

Taron’s eyes lit up “Really?”

“Really” I still laughed. “I had no idea he was gay too. I mean people were saying we had a thing going on because of our scenes together and it turns out he’s gay” I was happy for them, though.

“Did you date anyone while you were in Germany?” Taron asked out of nowhere.

I cringed. I hated to talk about my dating life, which was practically non-existent “Nope”

“Why not?” he asked and looked over to me as we were walking down a path.

“I don’t know” I shrugged “There just wasn’t anyone that swept me off my feet. Maybe I’ll have more luck in London”

But why did I have a feeling I didn’t even want to date anyone?

“What scenes will you shoot next?” I asked him when he didn’t respond.

“The next scene will be with Hanna I think” he said and ran his hand through his hair.

“Hanna?” I felt like my heart stopped for a second. She was totally his type. Or at least I thought so.

“Yeah” he said “You know she’s my love interest”

My heart sank to my boots when I remembered the scene they had together.

“Are you looking forward to that?” I teased him.

He just smiled.

“Taron” I drew out his name “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know” he shrugged.

“Let me know if I can help you with anything, alright?” I put my hand on his shoulder again.

The next scene I had with Taron was the one after we had almost drowned. I got ready in PJ bottoms, sports bra and a wet white shirt. They made my hair look wet and the shirt was almost see-through. I gulped as I stared at myself in the mirror. I wasn’t even worried how I looked, more like all the boys who weren’t wearing a shirt.

I arrived on set to find Taron and Eddie already there.

“Hi guys” I smiled as I walked towards them.

“Hey” Eddie said

Whew he looked good.

“Look at that” I teased him and stared at his six-pack.

He laughed “You’re not so bad yourself”

I still smiled when I looked over to Taron to find him staring at me. I didn’t dare to look at his body though, I would probably lose it completely.

Luckily, in the scene itself I was standing slightly in front of him so I didn’t have to stare at him all the time. I didn’t think I could handle that.

When we were finished shooting I couldn’t help myself and took him in. How had I never realised how fit he was now? I gulped and pushed all day dreams out of my mind. I got it bad apparently and I needed to find a way to get over it. Because this time I couldn’t just leave everything and run.

“Do you have a thing for him?” Taron asked as we walked to the Tube later that day.

“Who?” I asked, still focused on getting certain images out of my mind.

“Eddie” he said, calm but firm.

I laughed “Nooo”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

I stopped dead in my tracks “No I don’t. Why do you ask?”

“Because it looks like you might”

I frowned “What makes you say that?”

“I saw the way you looked at him earlier”

That was because I couldn’t handle looking at _you_.

“That was nothing”

“If you say so” he shrugged and turned to leave

“Wait” I grabbed on to his arm before I knew what I was doing.

He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me.

“Why do you even care?” I asked, my voice calmer.

“Melanie, I –“ he paused.

I raised my eyes in challenge. It was time for him to say what was going on with him.

He exhaled loudly “I just don’t want to see you get hurt”

I smiled lightly “You can’t avoid that from happening, you know?”

He could if he was my boyfriend though.

“I couldn’t stop you from getting hurt –”

“You could have” he interrupted me.

I frowned. What did he mean?

“How?” I asked. How were his eyes so green right now?

He looked into my eyes searchingly and I just wanted to grab him and kiss him. Like that kiss we had a few years ago, but deepen it this time.

“Just –“ he ran his hand through his hair “Forget about it”


	11. 2015 - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taron and I finally talk.

„Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever worn anything that beautiful before“ I said as I stared at myself in front of the full length mirror.

I was wearing a white blouse and a dark blue pant suit, which all looked rather manly but I enjoyed that look. Very much so. The makeup artist had done my makeup and hair and I was proud with how I looked.

We were doing promo photoshoots for the upcoming release of Kingsman and I couldn’t be more excited.

Taron was still acting all weird though and I didn’t know what I did to make him feel that way. Or maybe it wasn’t even about me.

We were in an old, typically English farmhouse where the photos would be taken. I exited the changing room to find Colin Firth and Samuel L. Jackson already there. I was still star struck whenever I saw them and I still couldn’t believe I had actually shot and would promote a movie with them. Their hearts were full of love though, so they always made me feel secure.

Taron walked in a few seconds later and his face was dead-serious. He smiled lightly when he saw me and then we were focused on getting these photos done.

“If Taron and Sophie could just stand between those lounge chairs like that” the photographer said.

“Great”

And here I was, standing next to Taron and between Colin and Samuel sitting in the lounge chairs. Yet something felt off. Taron was so close, yet so far away. Nothing had changed on the surface of our friendship but I felt that deep down something was wrong. Ever since he had told me I could have stopped him from getting hurt by Olivia. I still didn’t know what he meant.

The photoshoot was a blur and we were done pretty quickly.

“Next up is San Diego Comic Con, let me give you all the details” our manager said.

My pulse was beating out of my skin.

“Taron, wait” I yelled as I saw him fly out of the door in front of me but he didn’t stop. What was his deal?

I ran to catch up to him and held on to him when he still didn’t stop.

He turned around and looked at me, obviously pissed.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. It was worrying me that we didn’t seem to get along well anymore.

He shrugged “It’s nothing”

Now I was the one to roll my eyes “It’s not _nothing_. I see the way you look at me, all disgusted”

His features softened a bit “I’m not disgusted”

“Then what is it?” I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation in the middle of the street.

“I can’t talk about it” he said, back to having his features under full control, not giving away one emotion.

It saddened me to see him like this “I thought we were friends” I breathed out.

“We are” he said but his body language said something completely different.

“Maybe we have been” I looked into his eyes “But something changed ever since – ever since we talked about me having a crush on Eddie or whatever”

“That’s none of my business” Taron replied.

I wanted to just grab him and shake it out of him. Something was wrong.

“I don’t want to go on this press tour without us having talked about it. You know you can talk to me about everything” I didn’t want to lose him over whatever was wrong.

“Not this one though” he said and turned around.

He just left me standing there.

“I can’t believe he did that” Rose shook her head.

I felt like crying “What did I do that he treats me like that?”

She seemed as confused as I felt “I don’t know. Really”

I looked down “I will probably lose him over this. But there is nothing I can do if he doesn’t tell me the truth”

Rose gave me a look “You could tell him”

I frowned “What do you mean?”

“You could tell him how you feel”

I laughed “And what would that be? I don’t even know what I feel”

“Are you sure about that?” she looked at me intently.

“Why do you ask?” I could feel myself blushing.

“Because I feel like Taron and you have tiptoed around the truth all these years”

My breath was catching in my throat “What truth?”

“That’s you’re madly in love with each other”

I laughed. She couldn’t be right. Could she?

We arrived at LAX and had a car take us to our hotel. Taron and I were on our own. Colin, Samuel and Sofia would arrive separately and here I had hoped it would give Taron and me some time to talk. But we slept through most of the flight, so there was that.

I really hoped Taron would get it together eventually, and even if he didn’t, I would be out of here soon anyway. I was free to do whatever I wanted after promoting this movie. Not that I had every chance in the world, but I might as well go back to Germany. I thought back to what Rose had said but it didn’t make me feel any better. There was no point in telling him how I felt; he didn’t feel the same way.

“There you go Miss” the driver said as he handed me my suitcase, ripping me out of my thoughts

“Thank you”

We checked in and they showed us to our rooms which were on the same floor, but a few doors apart from each other.

“See you later then, I guess” Taron shrugged and I was surprised he seemed to put an effort into talking to me.

“Yeah” I shrugged “See you downstairs in two hours I think” I glanced at my watch.

I walked further down the hall and shut my room door behind me, letting out a sigh in the process. How would I survive this press tour with Taron acting all weird around me? My feelings were a mess and I could barely eat, or sleep.

We had a couple of interviews that day and I was pretty nervous. It was just Taron and me again and we were both pretty inexperienced with that kind of stuff, but most of the time I just let Taron talk.

I was sitting at the bar of my hotel room later that night and felt like crying. What in the world had I done to deserve this? Was he jealous of Eddie even though there was nothing to be jealous of? Would I have to take a leap and risk our friendship – or what was left of it – to tell him how I felt? I wasn’t even sure about how I felt, I just knew that losing him would break my heart.

I sipped my drink when my eyes fixated on a man sitting a few stools down from mine, broad shoulders, brown hair. Taron?

I got up from my stool and walked over to him. I could be wrong. I walked around him without trying to be obvious and found it was indeed Taron, with one elbow on the table and his face in his hand.

“Taron?” I asked.

He looked up and I could tell he was drunk.

“Melanie” he said, plastering on a fake smile “How are you doing?”

I frowned and sat down next to him “Why are you drunk?”

“Nothing like drinking away sorrows, eh?” he smirked and pointed towards his glass. Or he tried to.

“Want to tell me what’s up?” I asked nonchalantly. Maybe I would get it out of drunken Taron.

He just shook his head violently before holding on to the bar counter.

“The room is spinning” he slurred.

I rolled my eyes. I had never seen him that wasted. I mean we had had fun before, but never like this.

“Come on, I’ll bring you to your room”

His eyes lit up before he looked down. He got off the bar stool and nearly tripped when his feet touched the ground. I could hold him just in time and damn he was heavy.

I dropped a few dollar bills on the counter top and wrapped my arm around his waist. I tried not to picture his naked waist too vividly from what I remembered but I couldn’t really help myself. What a six pack he had under that tight blue shirt of his and how his body felt under my fingers.

How would I get him to our floor though? I didn’t want to ask anyone to help us and raise awareness to Taron being drunk as a skunk. That would only end up in the media.

We slowly walked towards the elevator and I couldn’t even hear what Taron was mumbling on about.

I let out a sigh of relief when we reached the elevator and I pressed the button.

Taron leant against the elevator wall, his eyes half closed.

“What made you drink like that, Taron?” I asked, still shook about seeing him like this.

“Not the first time” he slurred.

That didn’t make me feel any better.

The elevator arrived and I helped him inside and pressed the button to our floor before the doors shut again and the elevator started moving.

We reached our floor and I was thankful. Taron might as well be sick any moment.

I helped him out of the elevator and we walked towards the hallway. My room was further down the hall so we stopped in front of his room.

“Do you have your key card with you?” I asked.

Taron just looked at me from under his lashes and nodded before closing his eyes.

“Just great” I mumbled and shoved my hands into his jeans pockets to look for them.

I found them in his left back pocket and tried to not think too much about touching his butt like that. I held the card in front of the key card reader and the door unlocked.

I put one arm around Taron again but he shook me off him.

“I can manage this on my own” he tumbled into the room, almost falling over.

“Doesn’t look like you can if you ask me” I said, pissed.

How dare he? He would still be sitting down there drinking more alcohol and we would have more interviews tomorrow. Hopefully he would thank me for this and we would be back on good terms. Also, I was worried about him.

He reached the bed and lay down flat on his back, apparently out cold. I groaned. I wouldn’t let him sleep like that in case he threw up in the middle of the night.

“Taron” I yelled “Move over”

He didn’t even flinch.

I groaned and got on the bed, kneeling, trying to get him to roll to one side. I grabbed his arm and waist and used all my power to move him. He did eventually, groaning as he rolled to his left side, draping one leg over my body and effectively trapping me underneath him.

I lay there; listening to Taron’s breathing and tried to calm my own with having him that close to me. Having my arm around him or seeing him half-naked was one thing, but lying nearly under him was something completely different.

Tears sprang to my eyes, too caught up in emotion to react differently. I wasn’t afraid, I was just overwhelmed and so sad I seemed to have lost a friend. Why didn’t he confide in me?

But then also I knew he wasn’t just my friend. Laying in bed with him like that had my imagination running wild and I couldn’t stop it. What if he felt the same way about me? Or even worse – what if he didn’t? I didn’t want to lose him as a friend, but I wasn’t sure I could be just his friend. What I felt for him wasn’t just friendship.

I tried to shove him off me but it was no use. I tried to relax and Taron’s breathing did just that – relax me. I would just wait until he would move and I could get out from under him and go to my own room. There was nothing wrong with enjoying this moment, was there? Who knew if we would ever be that close again.

I woke up with a room pitch black around me, but hearing a gagging sound from the bathroom. I sat up, switched on the bedside lamp and glanced at my watch. I must have fallen asleep and Taron must have indeed gotten sick. I got up from the bed and walked towards the closed bathroom door, knocking on it lightly.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

“Have been better” I could hear him heaving.

The toilet flushed a moment later and the water running before he opened the door. I flinched at the sudden change of lighting.

I sat down on the bed again and waited for him to say something, anything. Did he remember what happened?

“Sorry for that” he ran his hand through his hair, seemingly embarrassed.

I just shrugged “Do you remember how you got here?”

He seemed to think about it for a second “Only fragments. I –“ he looked at me “Did you bring me here?”

I pressed my lips together “Yeah, I did”

“Thank you” he said and seemed to genuinely mean it

“Why are you still here though?” he asked after a while.

I could feel myself blushing “I was trying to get you to roll you on to your side in case you would be sick” I shot him a look “And I must have just fallen asleep”

“You could have just left me there” he said.

What did he expect me to say? “You’re my friend, Taron. And I take care of my friends”

“Well, thank you” he said again “I’m sorry you had to – had to experience this”

He was wobbly on his feet and I got up from the bed.

“You should lie down again” I said and helped him towards the bed.

He looked at me and his eyes were full of intensity. I shivered.

He lay down on his side and I glanced at him.

“Just call me when you need anything”

I brought him a glass of tap water which he downed in one go. Then I turned around to leave.

“Wait” he whispered and I looked over my shoulder to him.

“Are you sick again?” I practically ran towards him to help him get up.

He just shook his head lightly.

“I have to tell you something”

I was sitting on the side of the bed with him lying next to me. My blood started to boil. It was time he told me the truth.

“I was the one who broke it off with Olivia” he said before gulping.

I frowned. I thought she had broken up with him?

“Why?” I whispered.

His eyes met mine and I hoped he wouldn’t see me blushing in the dim light. There was something between us and I was tired to shake it.

“I didn’t love her” he said and kept his eyes on mine.

“I’m sorry, Taron”

“Don’t be” he whispered. “She never had a place in my heart like you do”

I was feeling jittery “Taron, I –“

His eyes closed and he started to snore.

I rolled my eyes. You have got to be kidding me. What am I supposed to do with _that_? And why did it feel like the best thing anyone has ever said to me?

I got up the next morning feeling like a mess. I would have to process what Taron had said to me and who knew – he might not even remember. I got dressed in a white blouse and skirt feeling anything but ready to face the press today.

I met Taron downstairs and he looked so much better than yesterday. My belly flipped when his eyes met mine, remembering what he had said to me.

“Hi” he smiled.

“Hey” I said and he hugged me, as usual. It didn’t feel quite so usual anymore though.

My skin was on fire by the time we pulled away. His eyes looked into mine searchingly. I wanted to ask him if he remembered what he had said to me, but I was too afraid of what the answer might be. He seemed to remember I helped him last night though.

The day flew by in a blur and I avoided Taron as best as I could. I went to the bathroom whenever we had a break; apart from that we were talking to interviewers. I knew I was being childish, but my heart was racing and I didn’t trust myself around him.

We were walking down the hallway to our rooms later that day and I was hurrying to get to my room when Taron grabbed my arm.

“What – what are you doing?” I asked but he had already shoved me in his room.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked, furrowing my brows.

He looked at me intently “We need to talk”

I blinked a few times, expecting him to say something.

“What happened last night, I’m really sorry that –“

“You don’t need to apologise” I interrupted him “I’m glad you’re feeling better”

I couldn’t meet his eyes as I walked past him but Taron held on to me again and whirled me around so I was facing him.

The power he had – not only over my body – also over my mind and my heart.

“I wanted to apologise for springing the truth on you like that last night”

My heart jumped. Did that mean he remembered?

“What truth?” I didn’t dare to meet his eyes.

“Look into my eyes” he whispered.

I gulped and then finally had the courage to do as he said.

His eyes were oh so green and I could feel myself falling harder by every split-second. All the walls I had tried to build up to protect myself came crashing down. He took a step closer and cupped my face in one of his hands.

“What – what are you doing?” I asked, my voice sounding strange even to my own ears.

“I should have told you this a while ago” he started and I frowned.

“What do you mean?”

He let out a breath “It wasn’t just practice to me”

My brain was rattling about what he could possibly mean. Then the penny dropped for me and I gasped. Taron smiled lightly. He knew that I had gotten what he meant.

“Taron, I – I didn’t know” It was probably the most stupid thing to say.

His lips were pressed together in a line “I figured as much” his tone is cold “Especially when you said –“ he paused and thought “from what I remember you would have never repeated than in a million years” he started pacing around the room.

“No” I shook my head violently “That’s not what I meant”

He walked towards me again, his face crumbling “Then what did you mean?”

I would probably lose him forever if I didn’t tell him the truth now. And I was tired of the pain and the uncertainty.

I took in a deep breath and Taron huffed and turned around to open the door for me but I held on to his arm. He didn’t have to stop, he was so much more powerful than I was, but he did. I turned towards him and didn’t let go of his arm.

“I was already falling for you back then and I – I was so scared” my voice was breaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know where you think this goes!


	12. 2015 - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally.

I met Taron’s eyes and it was as if his heart was breaking all over again, not particularly the reaction I had expected.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” his voice was barely a whisper.

I shrugged “I – I don’t know. I thought you didn’t feel the same way”

His eyes were so green I couldn’t look away “I did. All I wanted was you, actually. I tried to get to see you alone as often as I could”

I was so happy to hear him say it but I still frowned “Why did you kiss Olive then?”

His brows were furrowed in waves “I thought I had lost you, thought you didn’t want me” he sighed “I know I reacted immaturely but I was really drunk that night.

I didn’t know what to respond to that.

Taron cupped my face in his hands and my breath hitched “I told you I didn’t love her. It just really took me until you were back in London that I realised just how much I have missed you”

It took me a moment to take in what he had just said. He had missed me as much as I had missed him?

“It broke my heart to leave London in the first place” I whispered.

“Why did you leave?” he said, his face mere inches from mine.

I was falling for his eyes and not just those “I couldn’t stand seeing you with someone else”

He smiled “You could have told me”

I let out a breath “I’m sorry I was a coward”

“You weren’t. I could have told you too but I – I didn’t have the guts either” he whispered as he ran his finger over my chin.

My skin instantly reacted to his touch, craving him unlike anything I had felt before.

I let out a breath and closed my eyes “We lost so much time”

He took a step closer and we were standing flush against each other. I opened my eyes again to find him staring down at me.

“We have all the time in the world to make up for that” he whispered, his eyes lingering on my lips.

My heart was racing; scared of how that kiss might turn out now, all these years later after we had finally admitted our feelings.

I just nodded, unable to speak. He leaned in closer, looking into my eyes for confirmation. He must have known I wanted him as much as he wanted me. I closed my eyes and felt his breath on my face just as a phone started ringing.

He pulled away and I had to suppress a groan as he shoved a hand into his pants pocket and pulled his phone out. The look he gave me as he answered his phone was intense, to say the least.

“Hello?” his voice was uneven.

He kept staring at me while listening to whoever was on the other end of the line.

“Alright” he gulped “We will be right there”

He paused “No, I will pick Melanie up”

“See you in a bit”

He hung up “We have to be downstairs for the next interview. I had no idea it was already time”

I stared at my watch. Time really flew by.

“Okay” I sighed “Should we talk about –?“

Taron cupped my face in his hands again “Let’s talk later, just the two of us”

Something told me whatever we would do later wouldn’t include just talking.

I smiled “Okay”

I was hyper-aware to Taron’s every touch and everything he said all day. I was so flustered by the time all of us had dinner together I just wanted to be alone with him. I didn’t know what happened but most likely him telling me he had felt the same way all this time made me feel things. Suddenly even more intense feelings came to the surface and it felt a lot like love.

I excused myself at some point when I couldn’t stand the tension any longer and walked back to my room. I sat down on my bed and my thoughts were running wild. Did I only imagine him saying all these things? But then also there was a different way he looked at me since I had told him. I shivered at the thought.

There was a knock on the door and my heart jumped instantly. I got up from the bed and opened the door to find Taron standing there. He frowned.

“Why did you leave? Are you not feeling well?”

I stepped aside so he could walk in and I shut the door as I spoke “I – I just couldn’t stay there any longer”

“Why not?” he seemed seriously confused.

“You were so close and I -“ I sighed “After our conversation earlier I was just overreacting”

He smirked lightly and took a step closer to me “You want me all to yourself?” he teased me.

I smirked back “What gave me away?”

He wrapped his hands around my waist and my body was covered in goose bumps already “I see the way you look at me now. I don’t know why I didn’t realise this before. And I wanted to repeat our kiss”

I shivered at his words “Me too. I’m sorry about what I said, I –“

Taron put his forefinger on my mouth to stop me from speaking “Don’t judge yourself. We both didn’t act on it back then because we were afraid to lose each other as friends”

I nodded slowly, drowning in his eyes “I wanted to continue kissing you that night”

“You did?” his question was a whisper.

I nodded, fixated on his lips.

He pulled me closer to him and none of us spoke as we simply stared at each other. My heart was in my throat. This man meant so much to me and I was afraid to screw up.

“I’m scared” I whispered.

Taron put a finger under my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze again “There is nothing to be afraid of”

It was me who leaned in closer to him this time, and this time there was no hesitation. His lips met mine like they had all these years ago and our kiss was just as sweet and perfect as I remembered. We had both felt the same things for each other that night but were too scared and confused to actually realise what happened back then. But now we did.

Taron intertwined his hands behind my neck and pulled me to him. I moaned as I opened my mouth for him and he took full advantage of it. I could feel my knees weakening as we deepened the kiss. How could I ever have thought running away from him was a solution? I never wanted to leave him ever again.

He pulled away and I frowned. Had I done something wrong?

He was breathing hard and stared at my lips for a long moment before meeting my eyes again. I was giddy with the way he looked at me, unlike anything I had seen on his face before. Okay, maybe I had seen it that night when we first kissed.

He smiled “I have missed you”

We had seen each other so many times over the last few days and weeks but I got what he meant. He had missed me in a different way.

“I have missed you too” I whispered.

He cupped my face in his hands and there were no worries or uncertainty anymore.

“Taron” I whispered just before his lips touched mine again.

We deepened the kiss immediately, as if we wanted to make up for lost time. He walked me backwards against the bed and we both fell down. I giggled as I glanced up at him. The lighting in the room was dim, but I saw all I needed to see.

“Are you sure we should continue this?” he asked in between kisses.

I had felt this need for him for so many years and finally wanted him as close as I could get him “Yes”

His mouth smashed to mine again and I moaned.

“I wish I could say I was your first kiss” he said as he ran his finger over his bottom lip, most likely the sexiest thing I had ever seen.

“But in every way that matters this feels like a first” he continued.

I closed my eyes on an exhale as his hands roamed my body and I arched my back to get him closer.

“There is something I need to tell you” I said, my voice shaking.

Taron stopped and moved off me but I grabbed his waist before he was gone completely.

“Not like that” I said. Did he really think I would reject him?

Taron furrowed his brows “What is it then?” his voice was soft.

“I wasn’t completely honest with you” I cringed at saying these words “You might not have been my first kiss, but –“

He cupped my face in one of his hands and I trembled under his touch. I was breathing heavily but just couldn’t bring myself to say the words.

“I think I know” he shrugged, seemingly sad.

Did he?

“You do?” I asked, sounding unsure and refused.

He looked down. “You have a boyfriend”

What? In which world would he jump to that conclusion?

I laughed “We spend loads of time together, I think you would have noticed”

Taron’s features soften a bit “If that’s not it, what is it then?”

I let out a breath. It would be just like ripping off a band aid “I’ve never had a boyfriend before”

Taron blinked a few times “Never?”

“Never” I said as I looked at him and a slow smile spread across his face.

“So I’m your first boyfriend?” he raised one eyebrow.

Oh, we were back to teasing.

I smiled “You would be, yeah”

His brows furrowed “Would be?”

I looked down again and sighed.

“What are you not telling me?” Taron asked calmly before putting a hand under my chin to make me look at him.

“I – Well since I haven’t had a boyfriend before, I –“

“You haven’t had sex” Taron completed the sentence for me and I cringed at his words.

I didn’t dare to meet his eyes. I was so incredibly embarrassed by that fact.

“Hey” he said quietly “What makes you think that’s a bad thing?”

I shrugged “I don’t know. It’s – it’s rare”

“Maybe, maybe not” he said and I looked at him again, his eyes were full of sincerity “But who cares about other people?”

“I’m just not normal” I whispered.

“You’re extraordinary” Taron said slowly “And that’s a good thing”

“Is it?” I shrugged “I’m not so sure”

Taron cupped my face in his hands and kissed me, taking me aback. I could do nothing but kiss him back, it was like he and I were meant to be together. He pulled away then.

“What we have is extraordinary” he whispered.

I smiled.

“Actually –“ he started, his eyes lingering on my lips before meeting my eyes “I couldn’t be happier to be your first boyfriend”

“Really?” I smiled.

“Really” he said, his intent clear “Let me show you”

He waited for my confirmation.

Thank God I would have that experience with him, I never wanted anybody else. I nodded slowly and Taron smiled.

His lips met mine again, so soft and tender I felt like screaming. I kissed him back and relaxed in his arms. He had the power to soothe me like no other and I was so happy about it.

He kissed his way over my body, undressing me in his wake and I was so overwhelmed.

Finally. After all this time.

I helped him out of his shirt and gulped at the sight of him.

“Do you know why I couldn’t stand looking at you during shooting?”

Taron paused and looked at me “Why?”

I smiled “I was afraid of what I might do”

I sat up and trailed kisses over his chest. He was breathing heavily and I felt like the devil incarnate, knowing I could make him feel that way.

“I had no clue” he whispered

He wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me to him again, his mouth meeting mine. Our kisses were growing more and more sloppy and I was living for this. I never wanted to stop.

“Are you sure?” Taron asked eventually after we were both only in our underwear.

I gulped and nodded.

He ran his thumb over my cheek “You have nothing to worry about”

And he was right. It was painful of course but I had never felt so much pleasure. He slowly moved in and out of me, worried about how I was feeling.

“Are you okay?” he frowned.

I moaned “I – I need you to –“ I gulped “I need you closer”

His eyes were darkening by the second and I reached up for his face. He leant down to kiss me and then increased his pace.

I moaned at that overwhelming feeling.

“The noises you make me lose control” he groaned.

“Your voice is the sexiest thing” I moaned. I had never heard his voice just like that.

He lightly shook his head, smiling and clenching his jaw at the same time. He reached down and added a thumb to my clit and things felt even better than good.

“Oh, I –“ I gasped.

“Come for me” he groaned

I had tears in my eyes as I came, overwhelmed with the feeling of coming tightly around him and feeling him that close to me. Finally being his.

He cursed and groaned as he came with me. We stared into each other’s eyes, truly being where we belonged.

Eventually he took care of the condom and I watched him in all his naked glory. He wrapped his arms around me as soon as he was back and kissed the top of my head.

“How are you?” he asked, seemingly worried.

I smiled “I’m good. Great, actually”

He smiled and brought his lips to mine again.

We made out like teenagers, something we should have done years ago.

“Hey, I have an idea” I said eventually.

Taron’s eyes sparkled.

“Do you remember that dialogue we had to re-enact in school?”

“I do” he said “How could I ever forget. I wanted to kiss you right then and there”

My belly flipped “You did?”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t feel it too”

“Of course I did” I smiled “I just thought –“

Taron shut me up with a kiss and I moaned into him.

“Tell me you love me” I whispered once we had broken away, quoting our theatre dialogue from all these years ago.

“Of course I love you” he whispered back and my heart leaped.

“I love you too” I giggled, beyond happy.

“It took us a while, eh?” he smirked as he trailed his hand over my naked body. I instantly shivered.

“I would jump off a cliff for you” I smiled.

Taron looked at me intently “And I for you”


End file.
